It's mostly of the lies I have told.

I think I have a nasty habit of hiding the truth, whatever the reason I may have, I have never thought it's justified for one second.

But it's just something I cannot quit, maybe I'm not ready to be exposed, or maybe I am just too used to this kind of lifestyle.

It's dangerous to be honest.

Somethings just never fade away, the curses, the yelling and my tears shattering on the ground.

I do have a good memory, and sometimes I hate myself for remembering only the ugliness of ourselves.

I cannot let it go, not the ugly fights nor the good times we have had.

Even til this point I still imagine someday you will hold me like you used to and tell me nothing will change and that everything is OK.

I dont care if the they are lies, because your attempt to lie lets me know that you still care.

I don't know how long I can hold up for this, but until that day comes, I......

All I need is a hug.

That's it.